I have told a few people that I think that Satellites are fake and that they can’t exist in the vacuum of space because of mobility, compression and temperature. After giving a few reasons on why I think they are not actually real, the average person tells me I am silly simply because of the following:

They generally say things like “of course we have satellites, dummy. How else do you think you get your internet? Or, what about the images we look at from Google Earth. Those are from satellites, dumb-dumb. Or better yet, how else do you think your GPS works?”

Those are generally the three things that apparently refute anyone suggesting that satellites are fake. Let’s totally disregard the fact that they exist in an area of space below the freezing point as well as above the melting point. Let us also disregard the fact that there are no real photos of satellites when you do a web search. Let’s also disregard the fact that I can’t get my internet to work more than a foot outside of my house on a device connected to my house wifi, and yet you expect me to believe that your internet is connected to a device in the heavens that is something like 300 to 1200 miles away. Because that seems logical.

Instead of ranting on about the countless proofs for the fact that these objects are in my opinion not real, let us focus on just the main three reasons I am ignorant for thinking such a thing.

Number one. How else do you think we have world wide internet, you dumb-dumb? Well, let me think for a second… when the internet man came to your house did he set up a satellite or did he run some cables? He ran some cables. Here is how we use the internet to talk to the rest of the world.

Here is actual footage of these cables being laid. If the internet is from outer space, then why run all these cables?

Number two. Google Earth is made from images captures from satellites you, nincompoop. Oh, really? I dare say… spend some time looking up how much money Google has invested in drones.

Let’s totally forget the fact that satellites are supposed to be taking these images, and yet all we get is CGI up until about 15 miles above surface level on the following video. Go figure. If these heavenly objects are responsible for taking Google Earth images, then why don’t they zoom in from a real earth?

And finally, number three. You use the GPS on your phone, silly-willy. I’m sorry, but if you seriously believe that your phone again, reaches 300 to 1200 miles away to a satellite and yet looses signal when you are in remote areas, you are ridiculous. You lose signal in remote areas because you are no longer connected to the tower signal. Have you ever been driving from a major city to another major city and lose signal for about 30 minutes while surrounded by nothing but country side and farm lands, to then get the signal back a few miles before reaching the next habitable zone? I guess the satellites just don’t like farmers and it has nothing to do with radio waves bouncing off a tower.


Makes sense to me.

Also… let’s totally forget that we had a form of GPS during the Vietnam War. It just happened to have a different name. It was called the DNS and worked by bouncing radio waves on land. What makes you think today’s GPS works any different? That war ended in 1975 and the internet wasn’t around until 1983… and even then it was clunky and slow.

But enough ranting. I am clearly delusional. I must be ignorant.

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